I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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