yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I didn't notice because vodka
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
