i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
