Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
