awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
