Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
