I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Randomize
