that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
