Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
