There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
