i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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