in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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