he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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