just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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