I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
