Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
