I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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