Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
