Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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