we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
