I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
