I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
