She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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