I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
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