Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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