Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
