I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
