i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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