hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
