They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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