It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Randomize
