I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
