If i come over, it means nothing
But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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