just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
3pm strippers are depressing
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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