Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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