I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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