I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
