Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
worst night to have a conscience
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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