Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
