If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Randomize
