I just made out with a guy for $7.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
