you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
You're like the curious george of whores
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
how drunk are you?
Several
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
