Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
