The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize
