I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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