I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
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