is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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