so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
