I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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