addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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