I puked a lego.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
